Monday, February 9, 2009

Right Up My Alley

You're probably noticed the "chicks" label that I occasionally apply to posts. Well, this kid of thing is the reason I created that label. It's tailor-made for it.

Do I think men should boycott Valentine's Day? I think that's a deficient question. You do not have enough information to make a decision.

If his wife/girlfriend/significant other/whatever demands or expects a certain standard of gift or treatment, then yes, the man should boycott. Of course, if he has met that standard in the past, he should expect her to withhold sex (as mentioned in the linked post) or punish him in some other way, or even to dump him. But he should hold firm, because men need to stop playing into these manipulations. And if this is their first Valentine's Day, he will do himself a significant favor by making clear what his limits are. If she pouts or dumps him, he's better off knowing that early and making a clean break. If she's okay with it, then he's got a good one.

And if she's okay with it, then she falls into the category of women who should receive something special (either in treatment or physical gifts). She should, of course, reciprocate or she begins to move back into the former category. And sex is not sufficient reciprocation, or she's just a whore.

The rule is simple: a woman who expects little or nothing and is surprised and pleased by receiving some extra consideration is deserving of that consideration, and will likely repay that consideration. But sex is not repayment. Sex is something that both receive and enjoy simultaneously. If she does not enjoy sex and he only receives it in exchange for good behavior, then the relationship is not healthy.

But that's just my take.

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